Hey Beautiful Beauty

There was so much going on in my mind when the surgeon took my mother and I to his huge private office. Only two days after the lumpectomy. Still nauseous from anesthesia, dyes, contrast, and all the movement that was necessary to determine the type, stage, and grade of the cancer.  I sat, not knowing what to think when I heard the doctor say "the cancer you have is very aggressive". "It's important that you don't stress about anything" he said. Surely there was a fear that came over me, that was justified when I looked into his eyes, and saw the seriousness. I wanted to ask him. Am I going to die? But true to who I have become, I thought not. I'll just wait and see. That was a question that would be answered without me saying a word. So I held the fear at bay. I held the fear out of fear. Fear that my fear would make me stress. The man just said, "don't stress". I began to draw everything about GOD that I could remember ever hearing,

I've been in a fight. Unlike the grade school fights, that people still remind me of, I could not see my enemy. At some point during the fight much like what I've heard about the eye of a tornado, I realized a peace had come over me. Suddenly I was transformed to an observer. I could see the life I'd lived flow before me, as if I were watching a movie. That's when I learned that GOD almighty, El Shaddai   was keeping me. This was/is my place of total surrender. Hands up... Whatever happened...Emanuel, GOD with us. I was not alone. Whatever HE decided was acceptable to me. However as a child of the most high my position was to speak life into my life. My job in the midst of this storm was to proclaim in the name of JESUS I am healed. It was my job to know that I had the right (because JESUS died on the cross for me) to ask for healing. GOD is no respecter of a person. Meaning HE loves you and you and me too, the same. In the aftermath when the storm cleared I sti